plz talk dirty to me
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
