Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
