So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
