Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
