Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
