There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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