Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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