I think I am morally bankrupt
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Please don't give away my fajitas
Your penis caused this!
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