it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
