soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
