when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
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he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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