I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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