hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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