I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
