I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
