Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
