Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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