I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
