I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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