Whod you bang
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
