I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize