so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
