I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
