Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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