I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
