FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
