ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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