I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
