you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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