flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize