i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick