I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
wow bdsm is so cute
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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