the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
