never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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