all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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