i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
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If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
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My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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