I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
