i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
