$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
