i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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