it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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