I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
if only i could text you this smell
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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