I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
