To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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