glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
