Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
