i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
