Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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