the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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