I love black thongs
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
