Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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