do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
