Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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