The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Randomize
