i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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