Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
