She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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