is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
