I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
